Directed by: Peter Collinson

Starring:  Michael Caine, Noel Coward

Ah, the perfect crime.  Four million dollars in gold up for grabs. Every detail planned, escape routes noted, backup plans made.  And the planner tossed over a cliff in his flashy sports car, courtesy of the Mafia.

Of course, this guy even has a plan (and instructional film) ready in case of death.  And that’s where Charlie Croker (Michael Caine) steps in.

Fresh out of prison, Charlie’s prepared to embark on an Italian job.  Picked up from the clink in a stolen car by his girl Lorna (Margaret Blye), Charlie has just enough time to visit the tailor and have a nice welcome-back party before his briefing on the job.  To Charlie’s surprise, instructions about the job are delivered by the planner’s widow, and he’s no longer just part of the gang – he has to lead the heist.

Charlie can gather the gang, but he also has to get the funds together for training and travel.  For this he has to persuade Mr. Bridger (Noël Coward) to back the job.  Which involves breaking into a lavatory, and then a little luck with a well-timed news article regarding a multi-million dollar deal for China to back a Fiat plant.  There’s a guarantee of gold, a program in place to hack the computer-controlled traffic system in Turin and an Italy-England football match in place to cover the presence of the Brits running the job.  All they have to do is dodge the cops and the Mafia and they’re good to go.

The second half is the most entertaining bit, covering transport car training (e.g. crashing a lot of Mini Coopers), the nervous heist crew arguing about who’s going to sit in the back of the motorcar, a Land Rover creeping through tiny Italian alleys like a stealthy beast, and three hot getaway cars being tossed over a cliff.  Oh, and there’s also that legendary car chase, with the Mini Coopers racing down sidewalks (and one of the heisters snatching a Cornish hen off an unsuspecting sidewalk café patron’s plate), up ramps, over the rooftops, through the sewers, and pretty much on any terrain they can.

If you:

• Like Ocean’s 11/12/13
• Like car stunts and chases
• Find the idea of 1960s computers being run by what look like giant spools of film amazing
• Like an action film that’s witty but not slapstick

Put it in the queue!

If you:

• Can’t imagine a G-rated film being entertaining to anyone over the age of 5
• Never side with the ‘bad guys’
• Get panic attacks at the mere thought of a traffic jam, much less watching a full-blown traffic cluster with horns honking, etc.

Don’t put it in the queue.

Directed by: Julie Anne Robinson

Starring: Katherine Heigl, Jason O’Mara, Daniel Sunjata

About four years ago, I became familiar with Stephanie Plum’s Trenton, NJ.   The eighteen novels – plus several ‘between the numbers’ novellas – have all been books I enjoyed to various degrees.  So I was definitely in the target audience when One For the Money was adapted for the silver screen.

Stephanie (Katherine Heigl) falls into the bounty hunting profession by sheer necessity.  Downsized from her job as a lingerie department manager, she is behind on her bills, relieved of her car, and past due on her rent. She needs some financial stability quick, and would prefer to find another job rather than troll for a husband (much to her mother’s dismay).

Her last resort for employment is in her cousin’s bail bonds office, tracking down people who fail to appear (FTA) at their court dates. Fortunately, there is one big fish for Stephanie to catch with a fat $50,000 capture fee.  Even sweeter is the identity of this skip – Joe Morelli (Jason O’Mara), who once broke her heart.  She got even by breaking his leg with her car, but revenge is best when served again, right?  Especially if it’s lucrative?  Of course!

Stephanie doesn’t initially own a gun, can’t shoot, unashamedly approaches the ‘hos on Stark Street looking for information, and nearly gets assaulted in an MMA cage as she questions the looney tunes fighter Benito Ramirez (Gavin-Keith Umeh) about his missing girlfriend.  On the plus side, her first capture is relatively easy to apprehend (though he is an elderly male neighbor who believes in staying in the natural, unclothed state in which he was born, even on the way to the police station to reschedule his court date), she gets some shooting lessons and help on a few captures from expert and very attractive bounty hunter Ranger (Daniel Sunjata), and Morelli actually helps save her bacon a few times.

As a devoted fan, I really enjoyed this movie because it did an AMAZING job with casting.  Even though I think Betty White probably would have been better as Grandma Mazur, Debbie Reynolds was convincing as this quirky character.  Ana Reeder had Connie’s hairdo, cleavage and attitude portrayed to a T.  Vinnie Plum – who I’d always imagined as looking somewhat like Leisure Suit Larry – was all I’d expected via Patrick Fischler.  And I really liked Katherine Heigl as Stephanie Plum though I thought she could do with fewer pairs of heels and a couple more pounds on her frame.  I also heard a lady a couple rows back complaining Stephanie wouldn’t have been wearing the necklace they put on her for the film.

Much like I expect secret passageways and a car chase from an Indiana Jones movie, One For the Money also included a couple scenes with Stephanie’s hamster Rex and most of the classic gags from the series:

• Stephanie having to drive Uncle Sandor’s giant blue Buick
• A vehicle Stephanie had recently been driving getting destroyed
• Grandma Mazur doing something humorously ridiculous (such as accidentally turning a roast chicken into target practice)
• Ranger calling Stephanie ‘babe’ and Morelli calling her ‘cupcake’

The only thing I was really missing was some Cluck in a Bucket and a box of donuts. Maybe next time.

I have no idea how long it will be until One For the Money will be available in the queue since it’s still in major theaters.  If you already know you don’t like this book series and don’t really care for goofy female quasi-crime fighters, I’m not sure why you’d bother to go see it.  Unless you have a strange compulsion to see all films in which John Leguizamo has at least a minor role.

p.s. Shout out to Heather Purdum, who was a sport and went to see this movie with me.  Even though I nearly lost the parking pass.

Directed by: Armando Iannucci

Starring: Tom Hollander,Peter Capaldi, James Gandolfini

As the United States has ended its involvement in Iraq, a film about the international political machinations behind war seems an appropriate choice.  In the Loop starts with a verbal gaffe by British Minister for International Development Simon Foster (Tom Hollander) during a radio interview.  When asked about the likelihood of military involvement in the Middle East, he replies war is ‘unforeseeable’ rather than regurgitating a slightly more equivocating party line.  Despite the acquisition of a new aide, Toby (Chris Addision) and heavily profane warnings from communications manager Malcom (Peter Capaldi) to keep his mouth shut unless he can stick to the party script, things go from bad to worse.

Simon’s clumsy attempts to seem more important than the minor career politician he is and to correct his previous mis-statement with vague metaphors actually thrust him into the spotlight as a war hawk.  Unwittingly, Simon has become tangled up in a bit of a power struggle between two US Assistant Secretaries.

Rather than figuring out how to extract Simon from international dilemmas and local constituents making a laughingstock of him in the press, Toby stirs the political pot behind the scenes with information leaks.  The layers of maneuvering on all fronts – among the aides, between the pro- and anti-war groups, within the party – are ultimately like a multi-tiered concoction of cake and filling: sickening overall, though some parts are highly enjoyable.

Perhaps if it would have been more A Modest Proposal and less plausible, I would have enjoyed this movie more overall.  Also, I didn’t really like any of the characters. Regardless of their motives and stance on the war, they were all a bunch of manipulative, self-centered turds in one way or another. Plus, it was too long I did not find the ending satisfactory at all.  I like my movies idealistic and have to say I far more enjoyed the ending of She’s The Man (which I inadvertently started watching on TBS and was inexplicably compelled to sit through the whole thing).

If you:

• Are connoisseur of creative profanity
• Find strategic maneuvering thrilling
• Like watching people who think they’re powerful act like ass-hats (i.e. throwing temper tantrums, shouting threats, stomping the crap out of fax machine in a manner that rivals the printer destruction scene in Office Space).

Put it in the queue!

However, if you:

• Prefer to escape from reality when you watch movies
• Cannot fathom why anyone would really want a career in politics
• Don’t find farce enjoyable

Don’t put it in the queue.

Directed by: Woody Allen

Starring:  Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams

Even before I read The Great Gatsby, I wanted to live in the 1920s.  Beads, jazz, bobs, long cigarette holders, the Charleston, speakeasies…it all sounded like great fun.  Then once I found out about all the American expats living it up in Paris…the artistic/intellectual community of that era is the Elysian Fields for any wannabe author of the next Great America Novel.

Judging by Midnight in Paris, I am not alone in that regard.  Gil (Owen Wilson) is a successful screenwriter longing for a more ‘authentic’ writing career.  In Paris with his fiancée Inez (Rachel McAdams) and her parents, he longs to ramble around the city in the rain with very romantic notions of what it was like in the golden age of the 1920s where authors and artists partied and mingled in a French mecca of creativity.  Inez is definitely not on the same wavelength, preferring wine tasting, gallery tours and late nights of dancing with her pseudo-intellectual American friend Paul (Martin Sheen) and his lady friend Carol (Nina Arianda).

One night Gil is off on a late-night walk, resting on some stone steps when an old-time car pulls up.  The jovial passengers offer him a lift, and Gil is spirited off to a fine party where the women are dressed like flappers, Cole Porter is playing the piano, and Zelda and Scott Fitzgerald invite him to pal around for the evening, ultimately leaving him at a café to chat with Hemingway (Corey Stoll).  Amidst talk of courage, grace and war, Hemingway refuses to read and comment on the gobsmacked Gil’s novel in progress but suggests Gertrude Stein could provide a more fair opinion on it. Hurrying off to get his manuscript, Gil wanders back into his world.

Determined to get back to the roaring twenties again, Gil is in a hurried daze, tolerating Paul’s blathering and Inez’s putdowns only because he is whiling away the hours until the evening. Paul particularly mocks Gil’s infatuation with 1920s Paris as he says living in the past and nostalgia is all a big romantic fallacy.  Gil tries to share this fantastic journey with Inez, but she refuses to wait with him for the car, and Gil again travels into the partied past alone to take his manuscript to Gertrude Stein (Kathy Bates).  While there, he meets Picasso’s beguiling young mistress Adriana (Marion Cotillard) and she loves the first sentence of his novel.  Gil is charmed, particularly because this woman who has been the mistress of many famous artists is willing to engage in idle chatter with him.

Over the next few days, Gil rewrites the first few chapters based on Stein’s feedback, evaluates the gulf between his ideals and Inez’s, and attempts to woo Adriana in the 1920s (despite competition from Hemingway).  I won’t spoil the unfolding of the plot, but it does end with Gil taking an evening stroll in the rain with a lovely young woman.

Overall, this movie is absolute paradise for anyone who revels in literary/artistic references (there is even a nod to a film I previously reviewed, Luis Buñuel’s The Exterminating Angel). I also found the film even more fantastic after I had a few glasses of wine (everyone in the movie was drinking; I felt silly not joining in).  And with a Hemingway-ian sentiment, I should have disliked this movie because I didn’t think of it first.

If you:

• Have ever felt you belonged to a different time period.
• Have taken far too many Humanities classes and go nuts for both overt and semi-obscure references to artists and authors of the given era.
• Have been scoffed at for having very romanticized notions of certain times and places
• Are a real intellectual that has ever been annoyed by a pseudo-intellectual

Put it in the queue!

However, if you:

• Think the present is the golden age
• Prefer disco to the foxtrot
• Look down on France because of their politics and/or are a Tea Party Republican

Don’t put it in the queue!

Directed by: Asif Kapadia

I can appreciate fast cars, great driving, and a story well told.  So I’m not sure why I waited for Daniel Ferreiro to recommend Senna twice before I watched it.

Primarily comprised of footage from the 1980s and early 90s, this documentary introduced me to one of the Formula One greats – a driver named Ayrton Senna.  Footage from Senna’s early days competing in karting races, in-car cameras from F1 races and telecasts give the viewer a taste of the excitement surrounding this young driver.

I have seen a fair amount of documentaries, and this by far was one of the most compelling I’ve seen. The way the audio and video segments were carefully chosen and seamlessly woven together allow Senna to tell his own story.  You see his competitive drive on the track, his frustration at FIA politics and the ease he feels at home in Brazil enjoying boating and waterskiing when not racing.  The voices of friends, family, teammates, team owners, reporters work as narration, not as disruptive and boring ‘talking heads.’

The film winds you up during the races with the buzz of the cars circling the track, spitting sparks and whizzing by at ridiculous speed, the announcers’ shouts as Senna pulls into the lead with a risky yet rewarding move, the elation the win from a cockpit view.  It shows you the boyishly mischevious side of Senna, flirting with female reporters and celebrities who flirt right back with this handsome F1 world champion.  You feel the tension of Senna’s rivalry with Alain Proust and his incredible drive to win as well as the stress of situations surrounding his last Grand Prix.

Senna gives so many insights into the true personality of this man – more than just a phenomenal driver, a hero to the Brazilian people, a compassionate person, a religious man, a heartthrob, an outspoken advocate for safety and fairness in F1, a son, a brother, but also a person with hopes and dreams beyond his racing career.  All these pieces make the conclusion even more poignant.

I enjoyed this film so much that I barely realized there are some segments with subtitles.  So highly recommended that I’m going to give you ample reasons to put this one in the queue and move it up to #1.

If you:

• Have any reverence for automotive history and knowledge
• Appreciate a competitive spirit
• Like a semi-rebellious good guy who campaigns passionately for fairness and dislikes the political game
• Long for a fast-paced documentary that keeps focus on the most important and interesting parts of a person’s story
• Get a kick out of a first-person/car cam

Put it in the queue!

However if you,

• Want more of a Kitty Kelly style tell-all
• Don’t like to drive fast or watching automotive racing

Don’t put it in the queue.

Starring: Bradley Cooper, Abbie Cornish, Robert De Niro

Directed by: Neil Burger

Continuous improvement seems to be pretty much the only thing important to what we perceive as success: more profits, more efficiency, more productivity.  It is easy for the average person to get frustrated and perhaps somewhat disheartened by this manifesto.  Should we have already done more by now?  Shouldn’t we be doing more?  Surely using this planner, that app, multitasking, delegating better, working smarter…something should unlock our ability to do more, right?

If you are a typical adult and you haven’t ever gone through this inner monologue, you must be:

• a freaking genius
• transcendentally enlightened
• someone who just doesn’t give a shit.

Limitless speaks to our (or at least my) desire to see what’s really inside the mind and understand what we could truly be capable of doing if nothing held us back.  Eddie Mora (Bradley Cooper) has a book contract and serious writer’s block.  His crappy apartment is a mess, his girlfriend is fed up with him, and he looks like a bum.

On top of being unceremoniously dumped and past his authorial deadline with nothing to show for it, he runs into Vernon (Johnny Whitworth), his shady ex-brother-in-law. Vernon buys him a drink, listens to his troubles, then slips him a tablet in a little plastic bag, “on the house.”  Skeptical at first of this experimental drug that will allegedly unlock all his brain’s power (not just that standard 20 percent), Eddie hesitates considerably before taking it.

But when it kicks in, the results are amazing.  The subconscious serves up long-buried facts, his mental facilities go into overdrive, and he completes more than enough of his novel to placate and energize his editor.

One brush with this type of power isn’t enough – of course Eddie wants more, which requires more of the drug.  So he goes to see Vernon again, and Vernon promptly sends him out to run a couple errands. When Eddie gets back, Vernon has been murdered and his apartment tossed.  Fortunately the baddies did not find the stash, but Eddie does.

What does he do with this seemingly limitless energy and intelligence?  Finish his novel?  Learn a bunch of foreign languages?  Figure out an algorithm that allows him to make millions in a couple days of stock trading?  Realize you know kung fu via all those Bruce Lee movies you watched in days of yore? Party with a bunch of gorgeous Italian women?  Go cliff diving?  Race around in a purple Maserati?

All this and more, friends, all this and more.

Of course, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  Though Newton’s Third Law doesn’t completely describe the rest of the film, and I was not able to conjure up the name of this law with just the power of Diet Coke or my 20 percent brain alone (I had to use Google Search), the binds Eddie finds himself in as he struggles with the drug’s side effects kept me on the edge of my seat.  I highly enjoyed this movie, even though watching it made me feel like an underperforming buffoon.

If you:

• Like science fiction or, more correctly, ‘techno thrillers’
• Have ever wanted to be able to do more than you are physically and/or mentally capable
• Have ever had writer’s block

Put it in the queue!

However, if you:

• Just say no to drugs
• Are nonplussed by Bradley Cooper’s acting skills and/or blue eyes
• Just don’t give a shit and would rather watch a comedy

Don’t put it in the queue.

Written by Jennifer Venson

Starring: David Hyde Pierce, Clayne Crawford

Directed by: Nick Tomnay

John (Clayne Crawford) finds himself in a serious pickle after he ends up injured and identified after a robbing a bank. Ditching his car – which has been described on the radio – he ends up wandering through a semi-ritzy neighborhood looking to weasel his way into shelter for the night.  After one foiled attempt, he finds a postcard from Julia in Australia to Warwick (David Hyde Pierce).  Posing as a recent friend of Julia’s just in from Australia with a sob story about losing his luggage, he wrangles entry into the house, where Warwick is preparing for a dinner party.

While John is sitting in Warwick’s house, sipping red wine and stringing together lies about his acquaintance with Julia, he hears another radio broadcast about his crime and the search for his whereabouts.  Fear making him belligerent, John grabs a knife and gets belligerent, revealing the truth about his identity and willingness to kill.  Warwick acts frightened and calls one of the guests to cancel the party.  And then John blacks out.  When he wakes up, he is the prisoner and four other dinner guests have joined Warwick’s party.

What follows is an extremely strange – yet carefully structured – evening at Warwick’s house.  There are even some flashbacks of John’s bank robbery woven in to add context and set up the ending.  Throw in a nosy neighbor whose interference in the festivities is only avoided by quick thinking and the use of a rubber swamp creature mask, and you have a very weird yet completely enjoyable film. The only ‘meh’ I have about the film is the flashback sequences aren’t integrated well.  They really don’t work as either clues or character insights until very late in the movie.

If you:

• Like a plot with more twists than a pretzel
• Like David Hyde Pierce
• Like a good mistaken/misrepresented/surprising identity ploy

Put it in the queue!

If you:

• Aren’t a big fan of movies that incorporate trendy and/or somewhat overused plot devices
• Don’t really like thrillers to have semi-comedic elements in them
• Expect a movie that uses Polaroid pictures to document events to be as good as Memento

Don’t put it in the queue.

Written by Jennifer Venson

Starring: Luke Wilson, Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn

Directed by: Todd Phillips

As one of my goals for 2012 – in addition to publishing In The Queue on a more regular basis than I did in 2011 – I plan to fill some of the gaps in my movie viewing experience. Recently, my work compatriot Jeremy Alexander was shocked to hear I had never seen Old School and Wedding Crashers. At the time these movies were popular, I pretty much dismissed them (especially Old School). I wasn’t really a fan of Will Ferrell in his SNL roles and hadn’t yet seen the absolutely fabulous Talladega Nights or Anchorman yet.  So to begin playing catch-up on pop movies, I started with Old School.

The main trio of Mitch (Luke Wilson), Frank (Will Ferrell) and Beanie (Vince Vaughn) are theoretically representing the spectrum of relationships for 30-year-old males.  Beanie is jadedly married with two kids, coaches soccer for his 6ish-year-old and sometimes packs around the baby in one of those sling carrier things.

Will Ferrell is the newly-married and semi-domesticated guy…the one who dedicates weekend days to lame home shopping/improvement activities with his brand new wifey.  He didn’t listen when Beanie tried a last-ditch (i.e. while the bride-to-be was walking down the aisle) and hilarious speech to get him to reconsider marriage.

Mild-mannered Mitch is newly single, catapulting himself out of a comfortable relationship after discovering his girlfriend (Juliette Lewis) hosted polyamorous parties while he was traveling for work.  Moving to a sweet rental house right off the campus of Harrison University, Mitch is ready to relax and regroup.  Beanie has bigger plans for Mitch and his new place – primarily turning it into party central, supplied by resources from the Speaker City store chain he owns.

Mitch – who would actually rather date women his own age like Nicole (Ellen Pompeo) – reluctantly joins in the fun but still has a good time.  Frank stumbles back into his party self, aka  ”Frank the Tank,” streaking his way out of his new wife’s good graces.  And to boot, Harrison University Dean Pritchard (Jeremy Piven, whose character I assume was the inspiration for ‘nerdy Pete Wentz’ in the 2005 video for “Dance, Dance”) recognizes Mitch, Beanie and Frank as guys who used to pick on him years ago.  He serves them with a notice the house has been re-zoned and now must be used only for campus housing or social service activities.

Mopey Mitch comes home the next night to find his house stuffed with guys of all ages, races, creed and levels of education.  To preserve his vicarious lifestyle, Beanie has decided they will start a fraternity in the house, open to everyone.  From this motley group, they choose 14 pledges – many college students, but also a couple middle-aged businessmen and an octogenarian named Blue that hangs around one of the Speaker City stores.  In an absolutely hilarious sequence of pledge kidnapping and hazing activities, the fraternity is born.  And thus they manage to escape the wrath of Dean Pritchard for the time being.

You know the rest – the Dean finds another way to block the guys, they find a loophole…happy ending, etc etc etc.  The movie overall is significantly funnier than I expected it, particularly due to:

• Beanie’s pre-wedding speech, with hilarious cautions to the groom punctuated by a ridiculously sappy compliment for the father of the bride.
• The Fight Club-esque way people talk about the fraternity and refer to Mitch as The Godfather.
• The pledge class having to work at Beanie’s son’s birthday party
• The excellent peppering in of random stars in small roles and cameos here and there throughout the film.
• The Dean Pritchard chase scene
• The mini-scenes running during the credits.

If you:

• Liked Revenge of the Nerds or any movie where the underdog wins
• Don’t take Greek Life too seriously
• Are in the mood for a comedy that’s wittily stupid

Put it in the queue!

However, if you:

• Are worried your significant other will disapprove of your watching this movie or if you ARE a disapproving significant other
• Don’t think streaking on the quad is funny
• Cannot appreciate Vince Vaughn

Don’t put it in the queue.

Written by Jennifer Venson

Starring: Bill Nighy, Emily Blunt, Rupert Grint

Directed by: Jonathan Lynn

Quick, what comes to mind when you think of a British family business?  Perhaps a tea shop with freshly-baked biscuits aplenty, a haberdashery, or a B&B Fawlty Towers style?  Hang on just a minute – how about a family of assassins?

Victor Maynard (Bill Nighy) is a middle-aged gun for hire with the look of a respectable banker and the neat accuracy of a 007.  For his 55^th birthday, his dear old mum (Eileen Atkins) presents him with a scrapbook of articles about his successful kills. Though he hasn’t yet got a son to carry on the family trade, he does have a strong reputation within the field.

Until he’s hired to take out the devil-may-care Rose (Emily Blunt).  Whether she’s riding through a museum on a bike with a basket with reckless abandon and apparent innocence to spare or strolling through town lifting scarves, pocketbooks and clothing at a rate that would make the Oliver Twist gang blush – Rose is clearly a loose cannon.  In a fabulous fashion parade of sky-high stiletto heels and brightly-colored tights.

After pulling the old switcheroo on an art aficionado (Rupert Everett) who thought he was getting a vintage Rembrandt and ended up with a clever fake, Rose ends up on Victor’s hit list.  Unwittingly eluding Victor’s aim, Rose ends up in the crosshairs of a completely different threat – the bodyguards of the art collector she stuck with the faux Rembrandt.  Of course, things are completely bollocksed up, and errant car wash boy Tony (Rupert Grint) gets pulled into the whole mess after he shoots one of the bodyguards.

Victor can’t bring himself to kill Rose – especially after she offers him a nice sum of money to protect her – so he, Rose and Tony go on the lam.

Overall, I found Wild Target quite a laugh.  There are car chases, buffoonery, poking fun at the stuffy British stereotype, a feisty aged parent, a drunken birthday party, an ex-parrot and a humorous rivalry with another hitman (Martin Freeman).

If you:

• Like British humor
• Are highly amused by actors playing quite the opposite of another well-known role, such as:
  • Queen Victoria Emily Blunt vs. con woman/thief Emily Blunt
  • Dr. Watson Martin Freeman vs. sadistic hitman Martin Freeman (Cor!!)
  • Ron Weasley Rupert Grint vs clueless assassin in training Rupert Grint
  • Like films where the main schtick is based around unlikely partners in crime (literally!)

Put it in the queue!

If you:

• Prefer your British crime films to star James Bond
• Are not amused by characters with a complete disregard for traffic
• Would find it weird to see Ron Weasley smoking a cigarette in the bath

Don’t put it in the queue.

Written by Jennifer Venson