The Long Kiss Goodnight

Starring: Geena Davis, Samuel L. Jackson Directed by: Renny Harlin

You know those 3-4 packs of movies you see at Target (or Wal-Mart…..but I don’t like to go there.  The foyer always smells a little bit too much like hobo) that you pick up and there is always one stinker in there, making the price not as good as it seems?  Like Big, The Princess Bride, and…..Nim’s Island?  Or Commando, Predator, and……Aliens Vs. Predator?  Schwarzenegger has a dozen great cult classics, why do you have to throw a complete dud in there?  I mean, Hellraiser 4, Hellraiser 5, Hellraiser 6, and Hellraiser 7?!  I think we all know where the weak link is there…………

Which is why it was quite a surprise when I came to find a 3-pack at Target that didn’t have a single miss.  A Samuel L. Jackson 3-pack.  The Long Kiss Goodnight, Deep Blue Sea, and Snakes on a Plane.  A dream come true.  And I watched each and every one of these over my recent vacation weekend in Evansville.  No reason, I suppose, not to just review these chronologically, which puts The Long Kiss Goodnight  first.

Samantha Caine (Geena Davis) is a wife, parent, and teacher who has been suffering from amnesia for the past eight years.  After a car wreck Caine starts to display an odd skill set.  Deadly accuracy with a knife, an adeptness at hand- b to-hand fighting, even the ability to knock out a mysterious intruder.  And also break his neck.

Mitch Henessey (Samuel L. Jackson), meanwhile, is a private investigator hired to find information on Mrs. Caine.  After an old suitcase once belonging to Caine is found in an old boarding house, Henessey goes to deliver the goods to her.  Inside an address and phone number are found, and Henessey and Caine set off to try and uncover more of her past.

After contacting the man indicated on the newly discovered evidence, Nathan Waldman (Brian Cox), a meeting is set up at a nearby train station.  Of course nothing goes as planned, and after a series of events involving a gun fight, grenades, and a blind plunge out of a third-story window, Henessey and Caine eventually meet up with Waldman, who tries to convince Caine she is actually Charly Baltimore, a CIA operative dealing mostly in assassinations.  Henessey and Caine both think he is either A.) Crazy or B.) Somehow trying to set her up.

Eventually, as is the case with this sort of film, we find that somebody working with their own set of motives is worried Caine or, rather, Baltimore, might have knowledge of an operation that they don’t want her to have and, accordingly, need to shut her up.  As the danger for Caine increases, her previous ego of Baltimore starts to reflexively emerge until, after a particularly brutal bit of torturing, she completely remembers her past life.

Despite treading a bit of familiar territory, The Long Kiss Goodnight is a solid entry in the action genre.  Nothing here is groundbreaking, but the script is above average and bolstered by strong performances from both Davis and Jackson.  Davis goes from frumpy housewife to sexy assassin remarkably well.  While Jackson’s main focus here is comic relief, it is better scripted than most.  We aren’t subjected to a set of obvious jokes and cheesy one-liners.  Jackson’s humor comes from his demeanor, as well as the interplay between him and Davis.

 

While watching I couldn’t help but think about the similarities between The Long Kiss Goodnight and Die Hard 2.  Both take place around Christmas, have scenes filled with snow, a lone vigilante against unrealistic odds where the villains seem incapable of even vaguely aiming the automatic guns they are all toting, scenes with snowmobiles, and both Geena Davis and Bruce Willis look surprisingly good as blondes.  Wait, maybe that was The Fifth Element.  It’s hard to say.  I haven’t seen either of those films in a long, long time.

Renny Harlin did, however, direct both films, so there’s probably a reason they sort of feel the same.  Which is a perfect way to segue in to the next film on the list, one which shares a star (Sam Jack), a director (Mr. Harlin) and a hot blonde (Thomas Jane).

Deep Blue Sea review at http://inthequeuereviews.wordpress.com/.

Written by Ryan Venson

The Puffy Chair

Starring: Mark Duplass, Katie Aselton, Rhett Wilkins Directed by: Mark Duplass, Jay Duplass

I don’t watch romantic comedies.  I simply don’t like them.  I usually find them formulaic and schmaltzy, and very, very, very predictable.  Being an underrepresented genre in my movie viewing, I decided it might be time to take in one or two.  So it was I came to decide on “The Puffy Chair.”

This was mainly because it was written and directed by brothers Mark and Jay Duplass.  Jay is more of a behind the scenes fellow, but I had become familiar with Mark as star of the overlooked FX comedy “The League,” and figured if I was going to give a “rom-com” a try, might as well go with someone’s work I enjoy, at least.

Duplass plays Josh, a wannabe musician who has been relegated to a minor booking agent.  The movie opens with Josh having dinner with his girlfriend, Emily (Katie Aselton).  He is preparing to go on a trip from New York to Georgia for his father’s birthday.  Along the way he means to stop and pick up a vintage chair he purchased off EBAY (oh, my bad, EBUY) just like the one his father owned when he was a child.  He is also to stop and visit with his brother Rhett (Rhett Wilkins).  During the dinner Emily and Josh have an argument, and to make up for it Josh invites her to come with him on his road trip.

The first stop is to meet Rhett, who has some sort of unorthodox, beatnik, spiritual mojo going on.  He talks a lot about the energy in the room, or between people.  Also he really likes lizards, apparently.  When Josh mentions he’s going to Georgia to see Dad on his birthday, Rhett admits he had forgotten the date, and asks if he can tag along, much to the chagrin of Josh and Emily.  Then hilarity and hijinks ensue!  This is a regular “You, Me and Dupree!”  ROAD TRIP!!

Actually, this is probably the antithesis of that sort of film.  Although I have to admit, I haven’t seen “You, Me and Dupree.”  I will go so far as to say you would have a greater chance of seeing me drink hot lava straight from an erupting volcano than watching it.  Rhett isn’t really introduced to be the over-the-top comedy relief; he’s just another character in the story, one for the other two to play off of in different ways so you can learn more about their personalities.

As a matter of fact, this movie isn’t really a comedy at all.  If you are going in thinking it is, you will be sorely disappointed.  This is a dramatic look at the relationship between Jay and Emily. You are invited to their petty arguments, their oddball conversation, even their awkward, unbalanced baby talk moments.   It looks in to why they are together, if they should stay together and examines how we make those decisions in relationships.

The film flounders, however, when it isn’t focused on the main duo.  A few scenes are dull and repetitive, feeling as though they are there just to fill run time.  And Duplass’s sparse direction is not going to keep your attention during these downturns.

Fortunately there are a handful of scenes with dialogue so unbelievably well written, reflecting perfectly conversations most all of us have engaged in, that you can forgive the shortcomings of the other parts of the film.  Not the kind of overwritten, overly-dramatic drudgery written in something like, say, “The Notebook,”  dialogue nobody would ever really, truly utter written specifically to illicit a certain response, most often crying.  Rather believably real, gritty, relationship dialogue.  I swear I have had some of these conversations before.

Not only is the dialogue eerily familiar to anybody who has been in a troubled relationship, but Duplass and Aselton deliver said dialogue in flawless fashion.  They have a great chemistry, probably attributable to their real life marriage.

“The Puffy Chair” is nowhere close to a perfect film, but when it is hitting on all cylinders it is achingly familiar and introspective without having to rely on preposterous stereotypes to get the point across.  It’s certainly not for everybody, some would probably describe it as boring at worst and droll at best, but  it sets out to make some interesting observations about relationships without cramming the ideas down our throats, and in this it is very successful .

Written by Ryan Venson

The Avengers and Dead Heat

Avengers
Avengers

Of course everyone in the world will be watching The Avengers, so our opinion is just a drop in the sea of comments about Joss Whedon's crazy successful film. Rather, enjoy learning about the Treat Williams/Joe Piscopo horror/comedy/action/buddy cop film, Dead Heat. Few movies are as bonkers as this one. Remember that time you dropped a few tabs of acid and thought you were being attack by lunch meat? All of that basically happens in Dead Heat, and I dare say that isn't even the weirdest part of the movie. It was the perfect movie to pair with one of the biggest movies of the year. Which of the two movies were better? I guess you'll just have to listen to the show. ...The Avengers was better.

dead heat
dead heat

Cabin in the Woods and Birdemic

cabin
cabin
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Joan_PINK_YELLOW_flat_CMYK_REV.psd

What?  Two podcasts in one week?  I know, your dreams have finally come true.  And what a podcast this one happens to be.  The Whedon/Goddard penned (and long shelved) Cabin in the Woods, and the highly overlooked...............horror? film, BIRDEMIC.  Shudder in terror as "eagles" dive bomb unwitting townsfolk.  Laugh as a man is attacked by a unicorn.  Cower as Alan Bagh delivers each and every line of dialogue.  It's all here friends, all here.

21 Jump Street and The Hunger Games

hunger
hunger
21 jump st
21 jump st

Believe it or  not, we originally planned on watching Wrath of the Titans.It appears as though some higher power is looking out for us, because we watched The Hunger Games instead. I can't say for certain that Wrath of the Titans was going to be a bad film, but the first Titans films was one of the worst movies Ryan and I have watched together. I know that we should be watching more bad films, but until theaters start letting us walk in for free, you are going to have to listen to reviews of movies were are actually interested in watching. I wouldn't hold you breath for a review of The Three Stooges...you might get one for The Raven.

Chronicle

chronicle
chronicle

I kept expecting a talking lion and some Christian allegory, but perhaps I was thinking of a different Chronicle. Has the "found footage" genre finally jumped the shark? Can a low budget superhero movie possibly hope to succeed in a world with $250,000,000 behemoths like John Carter out there? Can the snap of a Slim Jim be picked up on on our microphones during the show? These answers and more in the new episode.  

The Italian Job (1969)

Directed by: Peter Collinson Starring:  Michael Caine, Noel Coward

Ah, the perfect crime.  Four million dollars in gold up for grabs. Every detail planned, escape routes noted, backup plans made.  And the planner tossed over a cliff in his flashy sports car, courtesy of the Mafia.

Of course, this guy even has a plan (and instructional film) ready in case of death.  And that's where Charlie Croker (Michael Caine) steps in.

Fresh out of prison, Charlie's prepared to embark on an Italian job.  Picked up from the clink in a stolen car by his girl Lorna (Margaret Blye), Charlie has just enough time to visit the tailor and have a nice welcome-back party before his briefing on the job.  To Charlie's surprise, instructions about the job are delivered by the planner's widow, and he's no longer just part of the gang – he has to lead the heist.

Charlie can gather the gang, but he also has to get the funds together for training and travel.  For this he has to persuade Mr. Bridger (Noël Coward) to back the job.  Which involves breaking into a lavatory, and then a little luck with a well-timed news article regarding a multi-million dollar deal for China to back a Fiat plant.  There's a guarantee of gold, a program in place to hack the computer-controlled traffic system in Turin and an Italy-England football match in place to cover the presence of the Brits running the job.  All they have to do is dodge the cops and the Mafia and they're good to go.

The second half is the most entertaining bit, covering transport car training (e.g. crashing a lot of Mini Coopers), the nervous heist crew arguing about who's going to sit in the back of the motorcar, a Land Rover creeping through tiny Italian alleys like a stealthy beast, and three hot getaway cars being tossed over a cliff.  Oh, and there's also that legendary car chase, with the Mini Coopers racing down sidewalks (and one of the heisters snatching a Cornish hen off an unsuspecting sidewalk café patron's plate), up ramps, over the rooftops, through the sewers, and pretty much on any terrain they can.

If you:

  • Like Ocean's 11/12/13
  • Like car stunts and chases
  • Find the idea of 1960s computers being run by what look like giant spools of film amazing
  • Like an action film that's witty but not slapstick

Put it in the queue!

If you:

  • Can't imagine a G-rated film being entertaining to anyone over the age of 5
  • Never side with the 'bad guys'
  • Get panic attacks at the mere thought of a traffic jam, much less watching a full-blown traffic cluster with horns honking, etc.

Don't put it in the queue.

One For the Money

Directed by: Julie Anne Robinson Starring: Katherine Heigl, Jason O'Mara, Daniel Sunjata

About four years ago, I became familiar with Stephanie Plum's Trenton, NJ.   The eighteen novels – plus several 'between the numbers' novellas – have all been books I enjoyed to various degrees.  So I was definitely in the target audience when One For the Money was adapted for the silver screen.

Stephanie (Katherine Heigl) falls into the bounty hunting profession by sheer necessity.  Downsized from her job as a lingerie department manager, she is behind on her bills, relieved of her car, and past due on her rent. She needs some financial stability quick, and would prefer to find another job rather than troll for a husband (much to her mother's dismay).

Her last resort for employment is in her cousin's bail bonds office, tracking down people who fail to appear (FTA) at their court dates. Fortunately, there is one big fish for Stephanie to catch with a fat $50,000 capture fee.  Even sweeter is the identity of this skip – Joe Morelli (Jason O'Mara), who once broke her heart.  She got even by breaking his leg with her car, but revenge is best when served again, right?  Especially if it's lucrative?  Of course!

Stephanie doesn't initially own a gun, can't shoot, unashamedly approaches the 'hos on Stark Street looking for information, and nearly gets assaulted in an MMA cage as she questions the looney tunes fighter Benito Ramirez (Gavin-Keith Umeh) about his missing girlfriend.  On the plus side, her first capture is relatively easy to apprehend (though he is an elderly male neighbor who believes in staying in the natural, unclothed state in which he was born, even on the way to the police station to reschedule his court date), she gets some shooting lessons and help on a few captures from expert and very attractive bounty hunter Ranger (Daniel Sunjata), and Morelli actually helps save her bacon a few times.

As a devoted fan, I really enjoyed this movie because it did an AMAZING job with casting.  Even though I think Betty White probably would have been better as Grandma Mazur, Debbie Reynolds was convincing as this quirky character.  Ana Reeder had Connie's hairdo, cleavage and attitude portrayed to a T.  Vinnie Plum – who I'd always imagined as looking somewhat like Leisure Suit Larry – was all I'd expected via Patrick Fischler.  And I really liked Katherine Heigl as Stephanie Plum though I thought she could do with fewer pairs of heels and a couple more pounds on her frame.  I also heard a lady a couple rows back complaining Stephanie wouldn't have been wearing the necklace they put on her for the film.

Much like I expect secret passageways and a car chase from an Indiana Jones movie, One For the Money also included a couple scenes with Stephanie's hamster Rex and most of the classic gags from the series:

  • Stephanie having to drive Uncle Sandor's giant blue Buick
  • A vehicle Stephanie had recently been driving getting destroyed
  • Grandma Mazur doing something humorously ridiculous (such as accidentally turning a roast chicken into target practice)
  • Ranger calling Stephanie 'babe' and Morelli calling her 'cupcake'

The only thing I was really missing was some Cluck in a Bucket and a box of donuts. Maybe next time.

I have no idea how long it will be until One For the Money will be available in the queue since it's still in major theaters.  If you already know you don't like this book series and don't really care for goofy female quasi-crime fighters, I'm not sure why you'd bother to go see it.  Unless you have a strange compulsion to see all films in which John Leguizamo has at least a minor role.

p.s. Shout out to Heather Purdum, who was a sport and went to see this movie with me.  Even though I nearly lost the parking pass.

Best Films of 2011

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Drive-2011-Movie-Mondo-Poster-600x900
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jack-and-jill-movie-poster

I know everybody is filled with fingernail-biting anticipation to hear me and Drew's favorite films of 2011, so I have placed two pics here on the page as a sort of podcast teaser. One represents a top five film for me, and one represents a top five film for Drew. I don't want to give away which is which, so I supposed you will just have to listen in...

In The Loop

Directed by: Armando Iannucci Starring: Tom Hollander,Peter Capaldi, James Gandolfini

As the United States has ended its involvement in Iraq, a film about the international political machinations behind war seems an appropriate choice.  In the Loop starts with a verbal gaffe by British Minister for International Development Simon Foster (Tom Hollander) during a radio interview.  When asked about the likelihood of military involvement in the Middle East, he replies war is 'unforeseeable' rather than regurgitating a slightly more equivocating party line.  Despite the acquisition of a new aide, Toby (Chris Addision) and heavily profane warnings from communications manager Malcom (Peter Capaldi) to keep his mouth shut unless he can stick to the party script, things go from bad to worse.

Simon's clumsy attempts to seem more important than the minor career politician he is and to correct his previous mis-statement with vague metaphors actually thrust him into the spotlight as a war hawk.  Unwittingly, Simon has become tangled up in a bit of a power struggle between two US Assistant Secretaries.

Rather than figuring out how to extract Simon from international dilemmas and local constituents making a laughingstock of him in the press, Toby stirs the political pot behind the scenes with information leaks.  The layers of maneuvering on all fronts – among the aides, between the pro- and anti-war groups, within the party – are ultimately like a multi-tiered concoction of cake and filling: sickening overall, though some parts are highly enjoyable.

Perhaps if it would have been more A Modest Proposal and less plausible, I would have enjoyed this movie more overall.  Also, I didn't really like any of the characters. Regardless of their motives and stance on the war, they were all a bunch of manipulative, self-centered turds in one way or another. Plus, it was too long I did not find the ending satisfactory at all.  I like my movies idealistic and have to say I far more enjoyed the ending of She's The Man (which I inadvertently started watching on TBS and was inexplicably compelled to sit through the whole thing).

If you:

  • Are connoisseur of creative profanity
  • Find strategic maneuvering thrilling
  • Like watching people who think they're powerful act like ass-hats (i.e. throwing temper tantrums, shouting threats, stomping the crap out of fax machine in a manner that rivals the printer destruction scene in Office Space).

Put it in the queue!

However, if you:

  • Prefer to escape from reality when you watch movies
  • Cannot fathom why anyone would really want a career in politics
  • Don't find farce enjoyable

Don't put it in the queue.

Senna

In an attemp at not wasting so much time during the regular show, I decided to start recording shows that just run a few minutes about one movie. Senna was the first movie I watched for this little experiment. I know that a documentary about F1 racer may not seem like your thing, but just give me 5 minutes to try and change your mind.

Midnight in Paris

Directed by: Woody Allen Starring:  Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams

Even before I read The Great Gatsby, I wanted to live in the 1920s.  Beads, jazz, bobs, long cigarette holders, the Charleston, speakeasies…it all sounded like great fun.  Then once I found out about all the American expats living it up in Paris…the artistic/intellectual community of that era is the Elysian Fields for any wannabe author of the next Great America Novel.

Judging by Midnight in Paris, I am not alone in that regard.  Gil (Owen Wilson) is a successful screenwriter longing for a more 'authentic' writing career.  In Paris with his fiancée Inez (Rachel McAdams) and her parents, he longs to ramble around the city in the rain with very romantic notions of what it was like in the golden age of the 1920s where authors and artists partied and mingled in a French mecca of creativity.  Inez is definitely not on the same wavelength, preferring wine tasting, gallery tours and late nights of dancing with her pseudo-intellectual American friend Paul (Martin Sheen) and his lady friend Carol (Nina Arianda).

One night Gil is off on a late-night walk, resting on some stone steps when an old-time car pulls up.  The jovial passengers offer him a lift, and Gil is spirited off to a fine party where the women are dressed like flappers, Cole Porter is playing the piano, and Zelda and Scott Fitzgerald invite him to pal around for the evening, ultimately leaving him at a café to chat with Hemingway (Corey Stoll).  Amidst talk of courage, grace and war, Hemingway refuses to read and comment on the gobsmacked Gil's novel in progress but suggests Gertrude Stein could provide a more fair opinion on it. Hurrying off to get his manuscript, Gil wanders back into his world.

Determined to get back to the roaring twenties again, Gil is in a hurried daze, tolerating Paul's blathering and Inez's putdowns only because he is whiling away the hours until the evening. Paul particularly mocks Gil's infatuation with 1920s Paris as he says living in the past and nostalgia is all a big romantic fallacy.  Gil tries to share this fantastic journey with Inez, but she refuses to wait with him for the car, and Gil again travels into the partied past alone to take his manuscript to Gertrude Stein (Kathy Bates).  While there, he meets Picasso's beguiling young mistress Adriana (Marion Cotillard) and she loves the first sentence of his novel.  Gil is charmed, particularly because this woman who has been the mistress of many famous artists is willing to engage in idle chatter with him.

Over the next few days, Gil rewrites the first few chapters based on Stein's feedback, evaluates the gulf between his ideals and Inez's, and attempts to woo Adriana in the 1920s (despite competition from Hemingway).  I won't spoil the unfolding of the plot, but it does end with Gil taking an evening stroll in the rain with a lovely young woman.

Overall, this movie is absolute paradise for anyone who revels in literary/artistic references (there is even a nod to a film I previously reviewed, Luis Buñuel's The Exterminating Angel). I also found the film even more fantastic after I had a few glasses of wine (everyone in the movie was drinking; I felt silly not joining in).  And with a Hemingway-ian sentiment, I should have disliked this movie because I didn't think of it first.

If you:

  • Have ever felt you belonged to a different time period.
  • Have taken far too many Humanities classes and go nuts for both overt and semi-obscure references to artists and authors of the given era.
  • Have been scoffed at for having very romanticized notions of certain times and places
  • Are a real intellectual that has ever been annoyed by a pseudo-intellectual

Put it in the queue!

However, if you:

  • Think the present is the golden age
  • Prefer disco to the foxtrot
  • Look down on France because of their politics and/or are a Tea Party Republican

Don't put it in the queue!

Senna

Directed by: Asif Kapadia

I can appreciate fast cars, great driving, and a story well told.  So I'm not sure why I waited for Daniel Ferreiro to recommend Senna twice before I watched it.

Primarily comprised of footage from the 1980s and early 90s, this documentary introduced me to one of the Formula One greats – a driver named Ayrton Senna.  Footage from Senna's early days competing in karting races, in-car cameras from F1 races and telecasts give the viewer a taste of the excitement surrounding this young driver.

I have seen a fair amount of documentaries, and this by far was one of the most compelling I've seen. The way the audio and video segments were carefully chosen and seamlessly woven together allow Senna to tell his own story.  You see his competitive drive on the track, his frustration at FIA politics and the ease he feels at home in Brazil enjoying boating and waterskiing when not racing.  The voices of friends, family, teammates, team owners, reporters work as narration, not as disruptive and boring 'talking heads.'

The film winds you up during the races with the buzz of the cars circling the track, spitting sparks and whizzing by at ridiculous speed, the announcers' shouts as Senna pulls into the lead with a risky yet rewarding move, the elation the win from a cockpit view.  It shows you the boyishly mischevious side of Senna, flirting with female reporters and celebrities who flirt right back with this handsome F1 world champion.  You feel the tension of Senna's rivalry with Alain Proust and his incredible drive to win as well as the stress of situations surrounding his last Grand Prix.

Senna gives so many insights into the true personality of this man – more than just a phenomenal driver, a hero to the Brazilian people, a compassionate person, a religious man, a heartthrob, an outspoken advocate for safety and fairness in F1, a son, a brother, but also a person with hopes and dreams beyond his racing career.  All these pieces make the conclusion even more poignant.

I enjoyed this film so much that I barely realized there are some segments with subtitles.  So highly recommended that I'm going to give you ample reasons to put this one in the queue and move it up to #1.

If you:

  • Have any reverence for automotive history and knowledge
  • Appreciate a competitive spirit
  • Like a semi-rebellious good guy who campaigns passionately for fairness and dislikes the political game
  • Long for a fast-paced documentary that keeps focus on the most important and interesting parts of a person's story
  • Get a kick out of a first-person/car cam

Put it in the queue!

However if you,

  • Want more of a Kitty Kelly style tell-all
  • Don't like to drive fast or watching automotive racing

Don't put it in the queue.

Bellflower

Starring: Evan Glodell, Jessie Wiseman, Tyler Dawson Directed by: Evan Glodell

Every synopsis I have read of Bellflower misrepresents the film.  I know I started a recent review with a similar device, the review of “Survival Wilderness for Girls,” but it is true for both films.  Maybe this is just becoming more prevalent in an era where a short online synopsis might convince you to order a movie through a number of readily available online streaming options (Cinema Now, Vudu, Netflix, PPV, Amazon, etc.), but I can’t remember a time when more films where misrepresented through synopsis and trailers than in the last few years.

IMDB’s synopsis reads like this:

Two friends spend all their free time building flame-throwers and weapons of mass destruction in hopes that a global apocalypse will occur and clear the runway for their imaginary gang "Mother Medusa".

While this is true, it is a pretty small portion of the film.  Heck, when I sat down to watch the film I thought it was going to take place in a future poised on the brink of annihilation.  However, Bellflower actually takes place in modern day California.  And is actually a love story.  Or a bromance.  Or a mixture of both.  And, yeah, there is a flamethrower thrown in for good measure.

Woodrow (Evan Glodell) and Aiden (Tyler Dawson) are two friends who are building a flamethrower together.  This isn’t to illustrate how weird they are, or mentally unstable.  It’s just something to pass the time.

At a bar one night Woodrow is taken with Milly (Jessie Wiseman), who hands him a beat-down in a particularly voracious cricket-eating competition.  They make plans for a date, deciding spontaneously to drive to small hole-in-the-wall diner in Texas, where Woodrow is punched in the nose, and also trades his car (whose dashboard is rigged to tap whisky from somewhere in the motor block) for a motorcycle.

These scenes take up about the first 40-45 minutes of the film, and they are dull.  None of the actors cast in the film are adept at acting, although some might garner themselves a “passable” critique.  Particularly problematic is Glodell, the writer and director of the film, who is also cast as the lead.  Many lines are delivered in a stiff manner, and his awkward , self-aware giggle will have you pulling out your hair by minute 20.

There was a point during this time period I considered turning the film off.  The one saving grace was its approach stylistically.  I was aware the supposed budget of the film was $17,000 which, when translated to film budget, is almost literally nothing.  I have seen films with four times the budget with four times less style (like this piece of festering feces: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0469683/, which, even at 75 minutes long, was probably the greatest waste of time in my life).

So I continued to watch.  And at about minute 50, give or take, an event occurs which causes a fist fight, possible brain damage, arson and self-deprecation.

And the rest of the film is captivating.  It is finished in abruptly edited scenes and fevered, intoxicating visuals.  I’m not sure it excuses Glodell’s first half exercise in acting futility, but as the film is finished in an explosion of carnage and outrage, it is obvious he chose the overt “aw-gee-shucks” nature of the first half of the film to juxtapose the anger in the second half.

There is an ending monologue from Aiden which finishes the film perfectly.  It ties together everything in the film, from the violence perpetrated throughout, to relationships gone wrong, to the ramifications of poor decisions, and to the emotions associated therein, all with a “Road Warrior”-like apocalypse metaphor.  I really feel with a little tightening-up, this could have been a great film.  As-is, it’s set to be a piece of faulted cult cinema by a promising talent in the field.

Written by Ryan Venson [embed width="500" height="856"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrqM2Y74_lw[/embed]

Sherlock Holmes and The Muppets

sherlock
sherlock
muppets
muppets

This should have been up sooner, but you know how it is this time of year. Every free minute has to be spent catching up on nominated Oscar films. Plus if you think these shows are already too long, you should hear them before I edit out that random chatter and beer breaks. Just wait until we do the best/worst of 2011 episode...it might be 5 hours long. I will probably spend at least 2 hours talking about how much I hated Bridesmaids. For now, you will just have to enjoy this show.

Limitless

Starring: Bradley Cooper, Abbie Cornish, Robert De Niro Directed by: Neil Burger

Continuous improvement seems to be pretty much the only thing important to what we perceive as success: more profits, more efficiency, more productivity.  It is easy for the average person to get frustrated and perhaps somewhat disheartened by this manifesto.  Should we have already done more by now?  Shouldn't we be doing more?  Surely using this planner, that app, multitasking, delegating better, working smarter…something should unlock our ability to do more, right?

If you are a typical adult and you haven't ever gone through this inner monologue, you must be:

  • a freaking genius
  • transcendentally enlightened
  • someone who just doesn't give a shit.

Limitless speaks to our (or at least my) desire to see what's really inside the mind and understand what we could truly be capable of doing if nothing held us back.  Eddie Mora (Bradley Cooper) has a book contract and serious writer's block.  His crappy apartment is a mess, his girlfriend is fed up with him, and he looks like a bum.

On top of being unceremoniously dumped and past his authorial deadline with nothing to show for it, he runs into Vernon (Johnny Whitworth), his shady ex-brother-in-law. Vernon buys him a drink, listens to his troubles, then slips him a tablet in a little plastic bag, "on the house."  Skeptical at first of this experimental drug that will allegedly unlock all his brain's power (not just that standard 20 percent), Eddie hesitates considerably before taking it.

But when it kicks in, the results are amazing.  The subconscious serves up long-buried facts, his mental facilities go into overdrive, and he completes more than enough of his novel to placate and energize his editor.

One brush with this type of power isn't enough – of course Eddie wants more, which requires more of the drug.  So he goes to see Vernon again, and Vernon promptly sends him out to run a couple errands. When Eddie gets back, Vernon has been murdered and his apartment tossed.  Fortunately the baddies did not find the stash, but Eddie does.

What does he do with this seemingly limitless energy and intelligence?  Finish his novel?  Learn a bunch of foreign languages?  Figure out an algorithm that allows him to make millions in a couple days of stock trading?  Realize you know kung fu via all those Bruce Lee movies you watched in days of yore? Party with a bunch of gorgeous Italian women?  Go cliff diving?  Race around in a purple Maserati?

All this and more, friends, all this and more.

Of course, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  Though Newton's Third Law doesn't completely describe the rest of the film, and I was not able to conjure up the name of this law with just the power of Diet Coke or my 20 percent brain alone (I had to use Google Search), the binds Eddie finds himself in as he struggles with the drug's side effects kept me on the edge of my seat.  I highly enjoyed this movie, even though watching it made me feel like an underperforming buffoon.

If you:

  • Like science fiction or, more correctly, 'techno thrillers'
  • Have ever wanted to be able to do more than you are physically and/or mentally capable
  • Have ever had writer's block

Put it in the queue!

However, if you:

  • Just say no to drugs
  • Are nonplussed by Bradley Cooper's acting skills and/or blue eyes
  • Just don't give a shit and would rather watch a comedy

Don't put it in the queue.

Written by Jennifer Venson