Evil Aliens

Starring: Emily Booth, Jamie Honeybourne, Jodie Shaw Directed by: Jake West

What are the first things that come to mind when you think of the typical alien sighting?  Maybe UFOs, gray skin, bug eyes, big head, abductions, anal probes?  Then you will certainly enjoy Evil Aliens.

In fact, the movie pretty much opens with an alien abduction.  (Technically it opens with a shot of a naked ass and copulation in the middle of some standing stones.  But the two are soon taken into the spaceship, where the male gets – you guessed it – a gory anal probe).

The female, Cat (Jennifer Evans) gets an alien impregnation and contacts the Weird World show (sort of a tabloid show investigating/fabricating alien sightings and such) to tell her story.  Show host Foxy (Michelle Booth) has to have some content to accompany her boobs on air during the news show, so she, her crew, three actors for the alien abduction re-enactment and geeky alien expert Gavin (Jamie Honeybourne) travel to a remote Welsh town accessible only by a narrow road that is underwater when the tide is in.

Sounds like an excellent idea, right?

As the crew rolls in grousing about the lack of pubs in the rural town, they do not get a warm welcome.  In fact, they immediately encounter angry farmers who speak nothing but Welsh, one of them wearing a glass eye and a crazed expression.  But these are only Cat's brothers.

Foxy and her crew are determined to take the whole story with a grain of salt – evidenced by the re-enactment, which features a flamboyant actor dramatizing the abducting aliens by prancing through the standing stones in a skintight silver suit and mask.

Of course, the aliens show up again to prove them completely wrong.

Once the humans vs. spacemen fight is on, the level of gore is out of this world.  The aliens really like to rip off limbs and toss them asunder. The humans do their best with chainsaws, crossbows and farm implements. When the alien reserves from the mothership are sent in to help subdue these meddling humans, a score of them are literally mowed down in a wheat field.  (Less crop circle, more crop splatter).  Re-enactress Candy Vixen (Jodie Shaw), sports a Rambo-esque over the shoulder ammo belt and wields a mean shotgun while the men cower.

Evil Aliens actually has a couple moments of excellent foreshadowing  – particularly in terms of random acts, interesting discoveries or found items that end up being super useful alien fighting tools. Also, the alien birth scene is not what I expected.  Not at all.

I would recommend this movie – it's British, bloody, and a nice mix of horror film predictability with a few exciting surprises. However, it also has its share of B-movie weird, including a scene where a female alien deflowers Gavin in a manner beyond his wildest dreams and the steering mechanism of the alien pod looking like a giant brain (which you have to gently massage to drive).

Written by Jennifer Venson